Dr. Yasir QadhiScholar English

Marriage: The Sacred Bond

Alhamdulillah All praise is due to Allah subhanho wa Taala, we praise Him and we seek His help. And we seek refuge in Allah, from the evil of our souls and the consequences of our actions. Whomever Allah guides, none can misguide. And whoever is misguided cannot be guided except by him. I bear witness and I testify that there is no god other than Allah jalla jalaluhu in arabic, and bear witness and I testify that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is his final prophet, and his most perfect worshipper.
As to what follows Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala has reminded us to be conscious of him in the Quran,

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ حَقَّ تُقَاتِهِ وَلَا تَمُوتُنَّ إِلَّا وَأَنتُم مُّسْلِمُونَ
O believers! Be mindful of Allah in the way He deserves,1 and do not die except in ˹a state of full˺ submission ˹to Him

Dear Muslims, one of the most radical changes that is taking place in society around us. In this very generation is the change of the family structure. And even the types of changes in the family structure are different. But one of the most obvious is the very stability of the family.
One generation ago in this country in 1960s, more than 95% of children were born to a married couple, that’s the way it should be. That’s the way intended by Allah that is nature. 95% of children were born to a married couple, this is one generation ago.

Do you know what that statistic is Now?
Almost half of children born today, are born outside of wedlock.
Let that statistic stink sink in. We are literally destroying the family in one generation. One generation ago, 95% of children are born to two parents what together hopefully in love together one need to establish a life together.
And today, one generation 1960s Is not that many of you were young in 1960s. It’s one generation ago. And today, almost half, perhaps in a few years it will be half of all children are born to people that are not married. And this is in America as for Europe and other places it is already more than half. And we are still studying the impact of what happens when children are raised without two parents without a solid family without a stable background.

And almost every single psychological, sociological survey and research that has been done, almost every single research done interdisciplinary realities demonstrates that a solid, intact family a loving family, a mother and father figure have significant positive impacts, on the development of the child, and the future well being of the child.
A family offers countless benefits for both adults and for children. On average, on average, children raised in stable households perform better on every single measurable scale known to man, I repeat, if you look at all the surveys and statistics done in every field, on average, we find and this is common sense you don’t need statistics to prove this. On average, we find children born and raised and stable households perform better on every single measurable scale, emotional intellectual development, educational social motor skills, functioning in society, giving back to society, graduating, getting stable jobs, having families of their own, having better lives of their own, and we go on and on and on.

Children raised in loving households, by and large, are less prone to commit acts of violence, less prone to turn to a life of evil, less prone to end up in jail, and overall far more statistically shown to become productive members of society.
In other words, successful parents, surprise, surprise, usually produce successful children.

That is the Sunnah of Allah Azzawajal, and it is the proven reality of the world around us. And by the way, these studies don’t bring in religion. They’re not coming from Muslims. They’re not bringing in Quran and Sunnah. These are sociological, psychological surveys and studies done across generations to indicate a fact that wallahi we don’t need any survey to prove our fitra tells us this a child born two loving parents, a child raised in a stable household, overall will be a better child a safer child, A more intellectual child, a more stable person, a person who will give back to society. And this is why brothers and sisters, the Shariah has come with one of the fundamental goals being to preserve the family, to protect the family, to keep the bonds of marriage, and SubhanAllah.

Once we open the door for religion, once we start studying religion, we also find, and this is again, surveys done by people not themselves, religious surveys done in the modern Academy, go look up any science journal and the research paper, the number one cause of protecting the faith in the next generation has nothing to do with the quality of the Sunday school. It has nothing to do with the rise and fall of the faith outside of you know, the bonds of social media know, the number one mechanism to preserve the faith and the next generation across all faiths, Hinduism, Buddhism, Christianity, Islam, the number one mechanism is to have a stable family, that is bonding because of the faith and through the faith.

Again, these are surveys done by people who don’t care about religion, they’re simply documenting, they’re telling us like it is, when Christian families that love one another raise Christian children, by and large, those children end up Christian, when Buddhist families, when Muslim families, these are surveys done, you want to protect your children have families based upon your religious identity come together as loving families with your religious identity as a as a center stage.

And lo and behold, the number one cause of the next generation, protecting the faith following the faith, observing the faith is they had successful role model parents who are observing the faith, and again, should not be any surprise to us. But sometimes we need to quote these statistics. Sometimes we need to tell you of these realities to jolt us awake into reality. And that reality is a simple fact that should be known to all brothers and sisters.

In this time and place we live in when everything is going chaotic. When right is becoming left and up is becoming down or moralities becoming immorality. What is the number one mechanism to preserve our sanity and the sanity of our children?
What is the number one mechanism to give them a chance to be successful in this dunya. And in the Akhiraa, the number one mechanism psychologically, sociologically the FITARA is to have a successful family.
You and your spouse, you come together based upon this religion with the teachings of Islam and you become a role model mother and father, you live your lives around the faith through the faith by the faith, you live, your lives love, love and compassion. And automatically your children will absorb those values, your children will be more mentally mature, will be more emotionally capable, will have a higher percentage of becoming socially productive and avoiding the wrong parts here and there.

In other words, deen and duniya is both preserved when we preserve the family. And therefore brothers and sisters. Again, this is a reminder because how many Khutbas have been given, but it doesn’t change the reality that unfortunately, we are seeing and that is the reality of the breakdown of our own families within our own communities every week, every few days, another case comes to us and it comes to me and we hear of another divorce and other reality another breakdown. So it is imperative that we remind ourselves over and over again

وَذَكِّرْ فَإِنَّ الذِّكْرَىٰ تَنفَعُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ
But ˹continue to˺ remind. For certainly reminders benefit the believers.

Dear Muslims, the marriage contract between you and your spouse. It is not like any other business contract. It is not a trivial contract. It is the most sacred contract you can ever sign. There is no contract that is more sacred and more blessed than this contract. It’s not like any other contract yes at one level it is a contract but it is a contract like no other than. the Niqah contract is the most sacred contract and our Shariah ALLAH Subhanahu wa’taala calls ميثاقًا غليظًا

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