Nouman Ali KhanScholar English

How to Deal with Difficult People

In Surah At-Tagabun, allah azzawajal said

مَا أَصَابَ مِن مُّصِيبَةٍ إِلَّا بِإِذْنِ اللَّهِ
No kind of calamity can occur, except by the leave of Allah
[64:11]

Whatever calamity happened to you, whatever struck any any kind of calamity that struck. Somebody got in a car accident, somebody got diagnosed with a disease, somebody’s family member passed away, somebody lost a job, somebody got into a fight with their spouse and they’re getting divorced, somebody you know walked ran away from home, somebody you know they don’t want to deal with their family anymore, so they blocked every number and now they’re just gone forever.

You have a brother that doesn’t talk to you, doesn’t it won’t pick up your calls won’t respond to your text messages. You have a son who hates your guts, you have a you have a a mother who just walked away from the family, happens. There’s and people experience different kinds of calamities in life.
مَا أَصَابَ مِن مُّصِيبَةٍ إِلَّا بِإِذْنِ اللَّهِ
The first thing allah says, no no nothing struck anyone ever except that allah allowed that to happen, number one. But then the question is why did allah allow something so terrible to happen. Why would that happen?
And allah says sometimes in this ayah, there are many ayat on this but this ayah allah teaches us a powerful lesson.

He says
وَمَن يُؤْمِن بِاللَّهِ يَهْدِ قَلْبَهُ
Whoever truly has faith in Allah. Allah will guide that person’s heart. Allah will guide their heart. And what is Allah saying.
Allah is saying my heart feels anxiety, my heart feels anger, my heart feels sadness, my heart feels frustration, my heart feels this person got away with something they should they deserve justice, they got Away with, it my heart feels that it was unfair, my heart feels unrest, my heart feels all of these things, but if i have iman and Allah will guide my heart through these negative emotions.

Actually some of those negative experiences are a test of my iman and if i do have iman, allah will guide my heart. In other words, i’m supposed to go through some of these difficult experiences to truly experience guidance.
I have to go and this will be the way my iman gets secured and iman is the greatest asset a human being can have, because on judgment day the only thing that matters.

إِلَّا مَنْ أَتَى اللَّهَ بِقَلْبٍ سَلِيمٍ
"But only he (will prosper) that brings to Allah a sound heart;
[26:89]

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