what is the best way to raise children?
Allah (swt) says in the quran
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا
Allah عز وجل he instructs the Believers in suratur At-Tahrim, he says o you who believe, save yourself, and your family’s from the fire, save them.
What does this mean?
first and foremost how does one save himself from the fire?
obviously, by doing the Commandments that Allah عز وجل commanded us, and by avoiding the prohibitions that Allah سبحانه و تعالى informed us of this is how you save yourself from the Hellfire by doing the obligations and the good deeds and by at-tawheed saying La ilaha illallah and living by this word. You’ve saved yourself from the fire.
And then how do you save your families from the fire?
Ali رَضِيَ ٱللَّٰهُ عَنْهُ said
teach them the obligations and also discipline them upon Islamic manners and etiquette this is how you save your family from the fire by teaching them the obligations of Allah عَزَّ وَجَلَّ and teaching them what Allah prohibited, and making sure that they avoid and stay away from that which Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَىٰ prohibited and you discipline them as well. You teach them good manners, you teach them to give in charity, you teach them to speak the truth, you warn them against lying, you warn them against backbiting, you warn them against slandering and insulting, and so on.
so this is how you save your family from the fire. Now here we answer the question. what is the best way to raise children and discipline and nurture children?
Allah عَزَّ وَجَلَّ mentioned in this Quran in this Ayah, the fact that he said save yourself first, then he said save your families second, that means the best way to raise children is for you to be a role model for them. this is how it is.
So if you are on a path of saving yourself from the fire. by doing the commands and avoiding the prohibitions and acting like a real believer, and how a True Believer should act. then the children are going to imitate this, they’re going to copy this, and as a result, you’ve raised the best children, Subhanallah.
This is why that came first in the Ayah saving yourself first then the family. Imagine you lived your life and you’re not saving yourself from the fire, you don’t pray the prayers, you don’t adhere to Allah’s commands, you are engaging in the prohibitions, You smoke in front of your children, you look at Al-haram in front of your children, you listen to al-haram in front of your children. how are they going to be saved from the fire?
how are they going to get up and pray?
Most likely it won’t happen.